This post is part of my book-long erasure poetry and collage project on Tove Jansson’s The Summer Book.
This post is about that feeling when you’re doing a little better, and you’re not sure how much you can handle, but you want to try. And you’re scared of overdoing it, making yourself worse again. This is about living with a constant fear, and blaming yourself when things go wrong, even though it is mostly out of your control. But you’re also hopeful and you want to enjoy every little gain to the fullest.
In the introduction to The Summer Book, Kathryn Davis writes of an “island’s allure—that sense it gives you of being in the presence of something that has no need of you.” As someone who has been chronically ill for more than ten year, it struck me that this is how I feel, or have been made to feel, about society. As a chronically ill person it is hard not to end up in the margins. Looking in from the sidelines you feel ignored, left out, and even vilified and disbelieved.
I’m trying to express those experiences in my found lines of poetry and in the collages. But I also want to go beyond the negative and search for resilience and hope. I hope you’ll take this journey with me.
My contribution to Poetry Pea’s latest Haiku Pea podcast shows that I am not a very good cook! To be clear, the haiku in the image represented here is not the same haiku as in the podcast. So, if you’d like to hear it, you can listen to the podcast or read the show notes at the link above.
A bit of news
April is nearly here and I have come up with a little project for NaPoWriMo (national poetry writing month). I will be posting ekphrastic haiku and erasure poetry (e.g. blackout poetry) on alternating days. I will post across three platforms: this website, my Instagram account and my Twitter.
If you are already following me on more than one platform, please feel free to pick your favourite and mute notifications, or unfollow me, on the others. I wouldn’t want the responsibility of giving you a bad case of déjà vu!
I haven’t been very active, except on Instagram, but that is going to change in the near future. That does mean however that there will be duplicate content across channels!
I am looking forward to sharing with you what I have been working on.